Hak dan Kewajiban Suami-Istri (Bagian 2)

Senin, 03 Agustus 2015 | Islam
Kewajiban Istri yang Sekaligus Menjadi Hak Suami [1]

Selain memiliki hak yang harus dipenuhi oleh suami, seorang istri juga memiliki kewajiban untuk memenuhi apa yang menjadi hak suami. Hak suami atas istrinya sangatlah besar. Nabi shallallahu alaihi wa sallam menggambarkan bahwa seandainya suami memiliki luka/borok, kemudian istri menjilati luka tersebut, maka itu belumlah cukup untuk menunaikan hak suami [2]. Karena itu, hendaklah para istri bersungguh-sungguh dalam menaati suaminya. Sebab, hal itu dapat mengantarkannya ke surga.

Beberapa hak suami yang wajib dipenuhi oleh istri adalah sebagai berikut.

1. Mendengar dan menaati semua yang diperintahkan oleh suami selama tidak bertentangan dengan syariat.

Namun, hendaklah istri berhati-hati jangan sampai berlebihan dalam menaati suami, jika itu adalah perkara maksiat. Karena, jika dituruti maka istri juga ikut berdosa. Contohnya, menuruti suami untuk mencabut rambut di wajah (alis, bulu mata atau bulu halus lainnya) dalam rangka mempercantik diri. Karena, Nabi shallallahu alaihi wa sallam melaknat wanita yang mencabut dan minta dicabut rambut di wajahnya. [3]

Jangan juga menaati suami jika diminta untuk melepas jilbab saat keluar rumah dan berjabat tangan dengan non-mahram. Sebagian suami melakukan ini untuk berbangga-bangga mempertontonkan kecantikan istri di depan khalayak. Wal'iyadzu billah. Istri juga tidak boleh menaati suami jika diminta berhubungan intim padahal ia dalam keadaan haidh. Semua itu adalah perkara yang diharamkan oleh syariat.

2. Menjaga kehormatan dan kemuliaan suami, serta memperhatikan harta, anak dan rumahnya.

فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ

"Maka wanita yang shalihah, ialah yang taat kepada Allah lagi memelihara diri ketika suaminya tidak ada, oleh karena Allah telah memelihara (mereka)." [QS An-Nisa: 34]

وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ بَعْلِهَا وَوَلَدِهِ، وَهِيَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْهُمْ

"Istri adalah pemimpin yang bertanggung jawab atas rumah dan anak-anak. Ia akan dimintai pertanggungjawaban terhadap hal tersebut." [4]

3. Berhias dan mempercantik diri di depan suaminya. Senantiasa menampilkan wajah senyum dan tidak bermuka masam. Jangan menampakkan sesuatu yang akan dibenci oleh suami.

خَيْرُ النِّسَاءِ تَسُرُّكَ إِذَا أَبْصَرْتَ، وَتُعْطِيكَ إِذَا أَمَرْتَ، وَتَحْفَظُ غَيْبَتَكَ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِكَ

"Sebaik-baik wanita adalah yang menyenangkanmu saat dipandang, menaatimu jika diperintah, serta menjaga dirinya dan hartamu saat kamu tidak ada." [5]

Sekali lagi perlu diingat, mempercantik diri untuk suaminya, dan bukan untuk orang lain. Karena yang sangat mengherankan saat ini, banyak kaum wanita yang berhias berlebihan justru saat keluar rumah. Sebaliknya, saat di rumah dan di depan suaminya justru cuek dengan penampilan. Hal ini sebagaimana yang dikatakan oleh sebagian orang:

قرد في البيت و غزال في الشارع فاتق الله يا أمة الله في نفسك و زوجك, فإنه أحق الناس بزيينتك و تجملك, وإياك وإبداء الزينة لمن لا يجوز له رؤيته, فإن هذا من السفور المحرم

"Mereka laksana kera saat di rumah, namun menjadi kijang saat di jalanan. Bertakwalah kepada Allah wahai hamba Allah dalam hal yang berkaitan dengan dirimu dan suami. Suami adalah yang paling berhak terhadap perhiasan dan kecantikanmu. Janganlah engkau menampakkan perhiasan kepada siapa yang tidak diperbolehkan untuk melihatnya, karena itu termasuk mengumbar aurat yang diharamkan." [6]

4. Tetap tinggal dan tidak keluar dari rumah kecuali dengan izin suami, meskipun itu untuk ke masjid.

وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ

"dan hendaklah kamu tetap di rumahmu.." [QS Al-Ahzab: 33]

5. Tidak mempersilahkan orang lain masuk ke rumah suami kecuali dengan izin suami.

Hal ini berlaku walaupun untuk sesama wanita dan kerabat. Karena, boleh jadi suami tidak suka dengan orang tersebut.

فَأَمَّا حَقُّكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ فَلَا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ مَنْ تَكْرَهُونَ، وَلَا يَأْذَنَّ فِي بُيُوتِكُمْ لِمَنْ تَكْرَهُونَ

"Di antara hakmu atas istrimu adalah agar tidak ada orang yang kamu benci yang menginjakkan kakinya di rumahmu, dan tidak mengizinkan orang yang kamu benci ada di rumahmu." [7]

6. Menjaga harta suaminya, tidak membelanjakan harta tersebut kecuali atas seizin suami.

7. Tidak berpuasa sunnah ketika suami sedang di rumah, kecuali jika diizinkan.

لاَ يَحِلُّ لِلْمَرْأَةِ أَنْ تَصُومَ وَزَوْجُهَا شَاهِدٌ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِهِ

"Tidak halal bagi seorang istri untuk berpuasa (sunnah) sedangkan suaminya ada di rumah, kecuali jika suami mengizinkan." [8]

8. Tidak menyebut-nyebut di depan suami mengenai pengeluaran yang berasal dari harta pribadi sang istri.

Menyebut-nyebut pemberian dapat menghapus pahala. Terlebih lagi, itu akan menyinggung suami.

يَاأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تُبْطِلُوا صَدَقَاتِكُمْ بِالْمَنِّ وَالْأَذَى

"Hai orang-orang beriman, janganlah kamu menghilangkan (pahala) sedekahmu dengan menyebut-nyebutnya dan menyakiti (perasaan si penerima).." [QS Al-Baqarah: 264]

9. Ridha terhadap pemberian suami yang sedikit, qanaah dengan yang ada, serta tidak membebani suami dengan nafkah yang tidak sanggup ia pikul.

لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ وَمَنْ قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنْفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَا آتَاهَا سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا

"Hendaklah orang yang mampu memberi nafkah menurut kemampuannya. Dan orang yang disempitkan rezekinya hendaklah memberi nafkah dari harta yang diberikan Allah kepadanya. Allah tidak memikulkan beban kepada seseorang melainkan (sekedar) apa yang Allah berikan kepadanya. Allah kelak akan memberikan kelapangan sesudah kesempitan." [QS Ath-Thalaq: 7]

10. Mendidik anak-anaknya dengan baik dan sabar

Janganlah istri memarahi anak-anak di depan suami, jangan mendoakan anak-anak dengan kejelekan, dan jangan pula mencela mereka. Karena, hal tersebut dapat mengganggu suami dan menambah masalah bagi suami.

لَا تُؤْذِي امْرَأَةٌ زَوْجَهَا فِي الدُّنْيَا، إِلَّا قَالَتْ زَوْجَتُهُ مِنَ الحُورِ العِينِ: لَا تُؤْذِيهِ، قَاتَلَكِ اللَّهُ، فَإِنَّمَا هُوَ عِنْدَكَ دَخِيلٌ يُوشِكُ أَنْ يُفَارِقَكِ إِلَيْنَا

"Tidaklah seorang istri mengganggu suaminya di dunia melainkan istrinya dari kalangan bidadari akan berkata: Jangan ganggu dia, Allah akan memerangimu, sesungguhnya ia hanyalah titipan sementara di sisimu, dan akan segera berpisah kemudian kembali kepada kami." [9]

11. Bermuamalah dengan baik kepada kedua orang tua dan kerabat suami.

Hal ini juga termasuk bentuk berbuat baik kepada suami. Seorang istri tidak dianggap telah berbuat baik kepada suaminya selama ia tidak bisa bermuamalah dengan baik kepada orang tua dan kerabat suami. Muamalah yang jelek kepada mertua dapat menyakiti hati suami.

12. Tidak menolak permintaan suami untuk berhubungan intim, kapanpun suami meminta.

إِذَا الرَّجُلُ دَعَا زَوْجَتَهُ لِحَاجَتِهِ فَلْتَأْتِهِ، وَإِنْ كَانَتْ عَلَى التَّنُّورِ

"Jika suami mengajak istri untuk memenuhi hajatnya maka datangilah meskipun istri dalam keadaan sedang memasak." [10]

13. Menjaga rahasia suami dan rahasia rumah tangganya.

Istri tidak boleh menyebarkan rahasia rumah tangganya kepada siapapun. Di antara rahasia terpenting yang kaum wanita bermudah-mudahan dalam menyebarkannya adalah rahasia urusan ranjang. Para istri hendaknya mampu menahan lisannya dari kebiasaan "ngerumpi". Jika ada masalah, sebaiknya diselesaikan di rumah, tanpa perlu diketahui oleh orang lain.

14. Bersemangat dalam menunaikan semua hak suami dan menjaga kehidupan rumah tangga bersama suami.

Seorang istri jangan meminta cerai tanpa sebab. Rasulullah shallallahu alaihi wa sallam bersabda:

أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَهَا طَلَاقًا مِنْ غَيْرِ بَأْسٍ فَحَرَامٌ عَلَيْهَا رَائِحَةُ الجَنَّةِ

"Para istri yang meminta cerai kepada suaminya tanpa sebab yang jelas, maka diharamkan baginya bau surga." [11]


Hal-hal di ataslah yang menjadi hak seorang suami atas istrinya. Wajib bagi istri untuk bersungguh-sungguh dalam menunaikan hak-hak tersebut. Hendaklah para istri juga bisa memaklumi jika suami memiliki keterbatasan kemampuan dalam memenuhi hak istri. Dengan inilah maka kasih sayang dan dan kehidupan rumah tangga akan langgeng, dan akan berefek pada baiknya masyarakat.

Kepada para ibu, hendaknya juga mengetahui hak-hak di atas, mengajarkannya kepada putri-putri mereka, serta mengingatkannya kembali sebelum mereka menikah. Wallahu a'lam.

---
Footnote:
  1. Dr. Abdul-Azhim Badawi. 1421H/2001M. Al-Wajiz fi Fiqh as-Sunnah wal-Kitab al-Aziz. Mesir: Dar Ibn Rajab. (referensi utama, disadur dari sini)
  2. HR Ahmad No. 12614
  3. HR Al-Bukhari No. 4886, Muslim No. 2125
  4. HR Al-Bukhari No. 2554, Muslim No. 1829
  5. HR Ath-Thabrani No. 386
  6. Dikutip oleh Dr. Abdul-Azhim Badawi, hlm. 307
  7. HR At-Tirmidzi No. 1163
  8. HR Al-Bukhari No. 5195, Muslim No. 1026
  9. HR At-Tirmidzi No. 1174
  10. HR At-Tirmidzi No. 1160
  11. HR At-Tirmidzi No. 1187, Abu Dawud No. 2226, Ibnu Majah No. 2055



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